At least once a day my Apple Watch warns me that I’ve experienced a sound above their recommended threshold. And what is it that initiates these alarms? A good old-fashioned sneeze.

If I could just learn to reply to messages in a reply form rather than as a general toot, then my output here would be slightly less unintelligible. Sorry for recent nonsensical posts. They were replies to messages. I’ve deleted and sent them correctly now (I think). Waiting in a dressing-room before going on a programme called This Morning. Molly Hilloughby and Silly Popefield. Something like that.

Late Night Catastrophizing. I can’t be the only one. As you try to drop off to sleep, every one of tomorrow’s tasks, chores and errands looms like an unconquerable giant. From cleaning up in the kitchen (a 2 hr job at least) to the backlog of emails and the sense you must make of the bathroom. Yet, next morning everything is done in 6½ minutes. What was all that angst about, eh? Tch. Anyway, forgive the overshare.

Wishing you all a - personally giving thanks, amongst other things, for having escaped the bird’s mired nest …

Now, I can’t guarantee it, but surely this is a (very fine) piece of ironic satire, not reality? I can understand why some of you might think it’s real, and it’s certainly performed in response to a sad reality… but surely it isn’t actually, in fact, truly, really, verily … real?

Show thread

... and - as many have you have pointed out - he has crew and lifeboats to throw overboard ...

Show thread

“Iceberg? What iceberg?” Don’t bother the Captain of the Tweetanic now, he has deck chairs to rearrange

Am I wrong to be faintly depressed by the BBC's current "Most Read" top 5?

My first promotoot - not for me, but for the eximious and wondrous who should, I think, be cherished as one of our finest, funniest and acutest writers, both in the factual and fictional spheres. His Empty Wigs is crowdfunding at Unbound.
unbound.com/books/empty-wigs/
Subscribe - and In his (ironic) words invite your friends, family and servants to do so too.



jonathanmeades.co.uk
meadesshrine.blogspot.fr/p/shr

I find myself in the same position I was in during the early days of the birdsite, wondering what to post. Don’t want to be political or polemical in these early days, but mustn’t be too bland either. Not going to show you the scones I baked, share my latte art or describe my sourdough starter. Nor should I plug my current productions just yet. Easy enough to know what we don’t want Mastodon to be …

… anyway, that’s my current thinking

Article on Musk's cultural miscalculations 

Great article.

"Musk thinks he bought a tech company, but he’s actually bought a community of users, and that's where its value lies..."

So says Prof Paul Bernal - Professor of Information Technology Law at the University of East Anglia School of Law.

eastangliabylines.co.uk/why-el

Aaaaand... I changed my bio and avatar pic and BANG! the ✅ disappeared! Hmmm... don't know what I did wrong there. Didn't touch the HTML code or link to the website.

A ✅ has appeared in my profile. Hurrah for that. I think we have to realise that the learning curve here is steepish, but rather than be anxious about it, shouldn’t we should celebrate the adventure of slowly finding out something that was puzzling at first? Like your first week at school or in a new office building. We’ll get there and soon laugh at how confused me were at first. I hope!

Well, I’m slowly getting a little more confident and paddling out deeper into the Mastosphere. Trousers now rolled up to the knees and the water not feeling as cold…

When following back people here, I’m noticing a lot of people haven’t posted anything yet.

If you can’t think of anything to write just yet, then do consider just reblogging (=retweeting!) good content that you see around. You could start with this post, for example, to encourage more people to start sharing content around here.

BTW, as we get the Bylines publications going on here, that will provide ample good news content for the community. 👍👍

Is there a simple video or document that could explain to an idiot how this service works?

I wonder if this service named after the great confession of Bertie Wooster’s: “As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across premieval swamps … the clan has a tendency to ignore me.”

Mastodon App UK

UK Hosted and Managed Mastodon Instance. General communal space for discussion, everyone welcome!